“Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and head across the lake to Bethsaida, while he sent the people home. After telling everyone good bye, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Late that night, the disciples were in their boat in the middle of the lake, and Jesus was alone on land. He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling against the wind and waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. He intended to go past them, but when they saw him walking on the water, they cried out in terror, thinking he was a ghost. They were all terrified when they saw him. But Jesus spoke to them at once. ‘Don’t be afraid,’ he said, ‘Take courage! I am here!’ Then he climbed into the boat, and the wind stopped. They were totally amazed, for they still didn’t understand the significance of the miracle of the loaves. Their hearts were too hard to take it in.”
Of all the miracles recorded in the gospels, this is the one that seems to strain our credulity. But the miracle is neither focus or point. It’s the faith of the disciples. Or I should say lack of faith? That last line is almost unbelievable; “Their hearts were too hard to take it in.”
I read that line from the standpoint of faith. How could they doubt? How could they not have faith, not follow? Healings day after day, calming the storm, feeding the multitude from virtually nothing; yet they still didn’t get it…that he was more than Messiah. That they walked daily with the creator of the earth they trod.
They didn’t come to Jesus full of faith. He must fill them up with faith and with evidence, until their doubts transform to trust. Each day with Jesus was a new revelation, each miracle a new sign, until they learned to live in a faith worth their lives.
But their hearts were too hard to take it in. Perhaps that line hits me so hard because I have been hard-hearted for so much of my life. I still find myself in the place of the disciples; in the dark, in trouble, trying to do it myself, struggling against the gale-force winds of the same temptations that have always blown against me.
I want Jesus to walk on the troubled waters of my life. I want to hear the same words shouted at the disciples: “Don’t be afraid. Take courage! I am here!” Only in his presence, and only with his help can I step away from past failure into present peace.
Only Matthew records Peter’s step toward faith. “Then Peter called to him, ‘Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you walking on the water.’ ‘Yes, come’ Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. ‘Save me, Lord!’ he shouted. Jesus reached out and grabbed him. ‘You have so little faith, why did you doubt me?’”